MVD Visual
Blu-ray Release: May 7th, 2024
Video: 1.33:1/1080p/Color
Audio: English LPCM 2.0 Stereo and English LPCM 2.0 Mono
Subtitles: English
Run Time: 13:24
Director: Ernie Fosselius
Way back in 1978, hot on the heels of George Lucas's industry-changing space opera, writer/director Ernie Fosselius launched Hardware Wars, the very first Star Wars parody. Fluke Starbucker (Scott Matthews), Augie "Ben" Doggie (Jeff Hale), Ham Salad (Bob Knickerbocker), Chuke-Chilla, Artie Deco (himself), and 4-Q-2 (Frank Robertson) set off across the galaxy to try and rescue Princess Anne-Droid (Cindy Furgatch) from the clutches of Darph Nader (Fosselius himself) in this movie trailer-style short film.
Don't know if this constitutes a "hot take" among nerds roughly my age, but I think it's fair to say that Spaceballs is not Mel Brooks' best work. Then again, thinking about it, Star Wars has always been a fairly soft target for spoofs and references -- I'm a fan of Weird Al's "American Pie" and "Lola" parodies "The Saga Begins" and "Yoda," but they're more charming than laugh-out-loud funny, and I'm not much for "Robot Chicken" (which I simply didn't watch) or "Family Guy" (which I outright don't like). For my money, the honor of best Star Wars parody probably goes to multiple episodes of the UK sitcom "Spaced," by the team that would go onto make Shaun of the Dead. Before any of them even existed, however, there was Hardware Wars.
Formatted like a fake movie trailer (and probably designed to play as a fun short before some other theatrical feature, perhaps even Star Wars itself), Hardware Wars distinguishes itself from almost all of those other parodies by being less about Star Wars and more about execution. The joy of this 14-minute DIY goof is akin to the "Sweded" movies in Michel Gondry's Be Kind Rewind. Fosselius's creativity is in devising how to frame, paint, and light various objects from his kitchen and garage to simulate what George Lucas had millions of dollars to accomplish. In that sense, it also feels like a counterpart to Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation, the contemporaneous fan film by teenagers made in 1989 recreating a different Lucasfilm classic shot-by-shot, or Star Wars: Uncut and Shrek Retold, the online group projects that commission animators and aspiring filmmakers to sign up for a specific minute of the movie to recreate in whatever style they want before they're all stitched together into a chaotic remake.
Much like the other spoofs mentioned above, Star Wars remains a soft target for spoofing, and jokes like Princess Anne-Droid's hair buns being made of actual bread rolls aren't exactly gut-busting, but nearly 50 years later, I can't deny that I chuckled at the sight of a household iron flying through the stars on an obvious wire, complete with spaceship sound effects. There are also some chuckle-worthy jabs, like Fluke Starbucker's amped up "Leave It to Beaver" squareness, a full-on Cookie Monster puppet painted brown ("Wookiee Monster") as "Chuke-Chilla," and a stupid but nonetheless effective visual gag about the tractor beam. Fosselius combines garage sets, stop-motion, traditional animation, and any other technique he can think of, while unleashing a consistent stream of gags involving real-world objects. More than anything, though, there's an old-fashioned, good-natured dorkiness to the whole enterprise that is genuinely endearing -- I feel like there's a post "Stranger Things" trope of movies and television shows depicting nerds of the 1970s and 1980s, and none of them generate half the charm that Hardware Wars does through its obvious origin as a nerd's labor of love.
Video
For this new MVD Rewind Blu-ray of Hardware Wars, they were provided with an HD master by Fosselius himself, which seems to have been used on a Blu-ray release by Apprehensive Films (I cannot find any detailed information on when this was released, or what was included on it). After looking at it, they decided to prepare a new 2K master using a 16mm reversal release print. The work was carried out by Vinegar Syndrome. When pressing play on this new disc, text explaining the source is included, followed by this note:
"Due to poor handling of the camera original during the editing process, a large amount of dirt and damage is inherent tot he production, especially during the films frequent optical effect and dupe sequences. As this damage has been present since the film was originally released in 1978, it has been retained here, as removing or even reducing it would not accurately represent how audiences first experienced the film."
Not sure whether that last line of explanation really makes sense (frankly, it's so specific that one might wonder if it's actually a very funny jab at George Lucas's legendary unwillingness to release Star Wars in its original form), but in any case this new film transfer looks good, and in my opinion, clearly better than the original HD master, also included on this disc as an extra. Being a reversal rather than the negative, the detail levels are largely the same between the two presentations, but the grain has a flat, low-resolution look (the analogy that comes to mind is, a very large .jpg is still heavily compressed compared to a .png), and it's too dark (which MVD noted as their primary problem with it in a facebook post). The main benefit of the upgrade is depth, which is severely compromised on the old master.
Audio
LPCM 2.0 tracks are included in both stereo and mono configurations. Between the two, the stereo track sounds better, with the other one coming off more muffled and hard to hear. As one can guess, Hardware Wars is a low-fi affair, so neither is an aural extravaganza, but the stereo gets the job done capturing the film's homegrown effects.
Extras
Commentary by writer/director/actor Ernie Fosselius - Recorded in 2002.
Hardware Wars (2012 HD Master) (13:24) - As previously discussed in the video section, this is an older HD master of the feature.
Hardware Wars: Director's Cut (10:16) - More like a making-of, in a way, this piece reassembles the film out of alternate takes and bloopers, through which one ends up getting a sense of how Fosselius staged the various gags and stunts.
Hardware Wars: Foreign Version (11:14) - A one-joke recut of Hardware Wars footage with some goofy foreign-language voices over it.
1978 "Creature Features" Interview (6:04) - As Fosselius seems to be doing some sort of obscure bit during his appearance, I honestly have no idea if this is an actual clip from some local TV show he was on, or if it is a piece of sketch comedy he wrote and directed. In any case, it's endearingly odd.
Hardware Wars Saves Christmas (6:10) - Like the Foreign Version, this is another mixed bag, this one retelling the story through pictures in a riff on The Night Before Christmas.
Hardware Wars Prequel Featurette (5:23) - My favorite of the Hardware Wars shorts and follow-ups, this "Antiques Roadshow" parody is a little overlong but still fairly amusing.
Awards Reel (1:09) - A literal photo/video slideshow of some awards Fosselius won for Hardware Wars.
Porklips Now (21:39) - A Hardware Wars-esque riff on Apocalypse Now, this time revolving around barbecue. Pretty funny.
Plan 9.1 From Outer Space (20:46) - A restaging of the Ed Wood "classic," this time with puppets. Also funny, and like Hardware Wars, technically impressive.
Theatrical Trailer - In addition to a trailer for Hardware Wars, trailers for Ghoulies, Ghoulies 2, Swamp Thing, and The Man From Earth (all also available from MVD) are also included.
The one-disc release comes in a transparent Blu-ray case, with reversible cover art (featuring the painting from the VHS artwork and movie poster, and a more contemporary DVD cover design on the other). Inside the case, there is a leaflet advertising Fosselius's eBay store, where he sells a couple pieces of making-of merchandise related to the film and other items. The first pressing also included a slipcover designed to mimic an old-fashioned VHS box design, but the slip was not included with the review copy.
Conclusion
In the period where DVDs were doing big business and YouTube wasn't a thing, video releases of stuff like Hardware Wars would've been a big slam dunk. In 2024, it's a bit harder to envision someone wanting to plunk down $15 on a whole disc for a fairly silly (if deeply endearing) short film, but if they do, they'll get their money's worth: this package features a nice new transfer, two entertaining additional shorts that are twice as long as the feature, and plenty of additional extras, all in a decent package. The movie's a throwback, the disc's a throwback too. Recommended.
The images on this page are taken from the Blu-ray and sized for the page. Larger versions can be viewed by clicking the images.
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